My discovery.

discoveryI opened my eyes when my ears and mouth did

I saw my palm for others bid

I got up and recalled my life’s purpose

Remembered many but my stomach said stop

Fed it and washed it for it was the need

then the brain started telling what else is my need

a visual caught me tight up in the air

made me see it for hours up there

when realized it was all shit

I had wasted half of the time quick

when stepped forward to pick up my chores

my appetite caught me up again close

feed me more, it glared

the fats aside grinned me there

when finally I finished half of my work

someone had already assigned me work

but when its others its always a compulsion

I did their work with no repulsion

When I got up its already past 9

Ate from the fridge

and slept in the rare.

Now this is life filter Husband and kids

You just discovered how hectic it is.

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Love me

Haul

I need time to think

Now when it is too late

Your first sight made me go crazy

For I feared loosing you to someone else

I might not be the best

But I am selfish for you

You are my light

The white light I want to see

On my last night here with you.

Now when you have grown

I fear you even getting out of the house

Holding you tight

I have hauled you my light

Jealousy Anxiety Choking your liberty

I have tightened my claws around my own might

I hold on, to my dear

Making them impair

I am cruel to ones despair

And I don’t care

Tomorrow a day

My hands will be weak

My dear ones free

Freedom will be – for free

I wait for the day

When I will see them shine

Without my words tying down thine

And this my motherhood

That makes me so responsible – err

For the tiny scratch on that left hand

I don’t want to hung on you

I need time to think

What’s in my hand due.

Future is a dream…

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My future is that painting which is still developing. When I am in very good mood my future looks like that bright Pole star who shines every night and when otherwise my future looks naked. In short I want my future to be an example….. My remembrance when I stop existing. But my present sometimes questions my credibility.

My Past is a witness of my dream for my future – which is my present now and well…they are far from being even slightly similar. A dream of a future will always have success episodes, you waving to the over excited crowd proud of yourself, while the reality will have shades of failure creating a different future more like it’s said “Your life is written, you a puppet..”.

But that doesn’t stop us from dreaming or believing and that is where I am now. A staunch believer that my future –

  1. Will be a place with gender equality, with no women being taunted for being silly and her opinions always accepted.
  2. Will be a place where there is no class – only Human and Animals.
  3. Will be a place where Money doesn’t speak.
  4. A beautiful roof, healthy food and warm clothes for all.
  5. Success kissing everyone.
  6. No War! And lastly
  7. Me a Superstar!!!

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Yes… you are right this future is more a fantasy. Well, now you know that I’m dreaming!!

Jokes apart this fantasy is speeding towards being reality… Dreams will come true. The pace with which we are heading the world has already started looking smaller. Brainpower is credited more than Money power.

People of all castes and creed sit below a roof. Children are heading more towards success than inheritance. Every girl is being educated, respected and voiced. Our future is slowly embracing Happiness as a religion. Sexuality is not questioned rather embraced with acceptance and trust. Physical and Emotional abuse abolished with more secure and safe environment. Every child born is gifted with complete education and equal rights. Though not 100% but surely we are heading towards it.

With this environment no person will question his or her credentials of a happy and successful life. Our dreams will come true. People will never laugh or question your dreams but will see it happening right in front of them. Fear will only have a place in fiction books. This society will become the next heaven and the Gods will live within us.

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If you say Dreams don’t realize then there are many examples right in front of you who refused to die, to live their dreams. Fate had to kneel before them. For example: Mahatma Gandhi, Michael Jackson, Beyonce, Dirubhai Ambani, Malala, etc. They peered through all the winds and turned victorious setting an example that everything is possible in this life.

There are three types of Dreamers:

  1. I want to become this but will I be able to handle the success, will I have the capacity to uphold the Success.
  2. I want to become this but I don’t have any support to achieve it. Oh! This dream is just a dream.
  3. I can’t dream.

They want to achieve but certain outside pressure minimizes their thinking ability or to even have a dream and then there are achievers who dare to make it true.

Why can’t we be the fourth type of dreamers, yes… we all have our reasons but don’t you feel you are special and you too have your wishes, you too want an identity of your own except for the Aadhaar one (Type of civil ID in India).

Dreams need not be big or rich or shiny. A smile on someone’s face, a help to the other can also be a dream and we can always try to achieve it. Dream sometimes itself proves to you that you can achieve me then why to resent take a step forward; it’s never too late to be that someone you always wanted to be.

Sometimes life turns so cruel that you wish to stop it, circumstances makes you feel helpless, losses rip your heart apart, dreams fail to have importance you stop living…… but bad times are not here to stay they will pass and you will have to live your part of life why not live for a reason live for your Dream!

P.S. This particular dreamer is from India so her head revolves particularly around Indian influencers and also those trending and viral videos shining on the Internet.

The start and the fall…

Ups and down are a part and parcel of life but what if the ups are too up to handle or the downs are too dark to bear.

I never had a proper job nor have I ever seen a pay check in my life. But last month I surprisingly earned 1000 bucks for a henna art work. The feeling of my money is always wonderful and you treasure that for a lifetime. Even mine is in my locker- I consider it as a charm. I earned it after 3 hours of hard work, its very valuable. You have no idea the sense of accomplishment or the amount of confidence it built on me. I was so happy, finally I started to earn.

A week later second order came…I was thrilled and excited. Geared up for the big day….. but the day had a different colour… a little shade of grey. My art was rejected by the customer…. they didn’t like my work and depicted their anger verbally and emotionally. I was shocked… to see the real face of man when money is involved. I won’t spare a single penny on you… Were their last words. My heart bore a big wound as my art was close to it.

Something went wrong and I couldn’t do anything. I was blamed and sweared upon and I was helpless. To err is to human rings in my ear but I know I should have been more careful. Wanted to erase that time but I am still helpless. My lack of street smartness and marketing skills made me lose my step. Eventually the company who gave me the order complained and backed off. I could see them even with my closed eyes. A failure after a very long time and I am here again, right where I started.

Thoughts of leaving the city and starting some place else afresh roused in my mind but my kids and family mirrored the reality. I wanted to run from the situation but sometimes you just can’t.

My only solace is my family now who are holding me straight and helping me from falling down. I wonder how you guys earn for a living… I have practically failed right now. But will rise again and be the best in the field , it’s a promise to myself..I hope I keep.
Rise/Set

Like you…

The stars shone bright yet it twinkled reaching my eyes

The Moon aside kindled it afar

You bright star

Don’t know me right

Or are you my moon afar.

The sun raved bright cleared the dark sides apart

The birds chirped playing with my soul song par

Your pride, reflects in your august walk

I a bird akin will you hide me from your warmth.

The ocean wild warns me with its secret warth.

You come near me I will reflect my depth so real far.

Your Aura shields me from reaching your side so far

Am I imagining or are you, my ocean over the earth’s path.
Radiant

The Jumbled….

Our life is a fact

Death is a fact

Facts we live with

Paying no heed.

What is before life

What happens after death

Where are those facts

Did you beseech

Nature is a fact

Weather is a fact

Even plastic is a fact

Tomorrow will know

Terror is a fact

War is a fact

Inequality is a fact

We engage

Resolutely so.

Happiness is a fact

Sorrow is a fact

Karma is a fact

All face though

But the immortal Man

The co-tellurian

The Self-serving Man

Will he be a fact

If to be erased old.

Fact

Picture credits- Mr.Ashwin